Be Happy – Do You Have an Option

Life is the bed of roses for some fortunate people and others struggle to find this bliss. But one day, the latter come to know, that the so-called fortunate people have their own set of distress. Oh!! What a loss. We keep running after a mirage to achieve comforts of life, accumulate wealth, ensuring economic & monetary security, but even after such achievements, we end up finding that during all these years, we gathered everything, but lost the prime time of our age. We have bought the comforts, but never had time to enjoy it. In simple words, all the comforts & luxuries cannot derive, what it is meant for and that is – “Happiness”.

It is not necessary that a wealthy person is a Happy person and inversely, not necessarily a poor person is an Unhappy person. As we may see a poor man in rags and live in a slum, sleeping relaxed on the ground and that a Rich business magnet, in-spite of having earned all luxuries, spending sleepless nights. Ironical but it gives us a very important inference that ‘wealth cannot buy Happiness’. Ironic, but in fact, we are the victims of this Monotony. Let’s enlarge the scenario and view it – logically.

Victims of Monotony

It is worth observing that we have had lived our life of monotony from the beginning. As such, we have been trained to do so. Ever since our birth, we are taught that we have to study because we have to go out to earn one day. No one tells us that Knowledge is the window to look at the world. Along-with, we are given a rosy delusion, that once we finish our study, we are free birds and we may enjoy life, the way we want.

Little that we know at that juncture, it is never going to happen this way. More we grow, greater comes the sense of responsibilities – the immature kid grows into a mature person and the delusion wears off. That is why often people envy the golden period of immaturity, which has had gone past. But still, they further teach the same puzzle to the next generation.

This is the Monotony of Life. Have you ever seen the bull on the crusher? Extracting oil from pulses? In India, the ethnic style is to utilize a Bull tied on a wooden log which is connected to the center of the round crusher is called “Kolhu Ka Bail”. As the bull moves on the circular path the crusher works to extract the oil. To usher the bull on to the circular path, a leather eye cap is put on it, so that it sees only frontward and the rest of his sight is restricted. Now, the bull keeps walking for the whole day and thinks he has traveled far, but at the end of the day, it finds that it has walked circular and after much effort, it is standing in the same place where it started the day.

This is exactly what happens with us. After a life-long journey and efforts, we find that we are the same Bull, which has extracted oil, but for someone else. Again, the monotony… we are within the box… our sight is restricted to ‘run and earn’ to survive. We sacrifice our leaves & holidays, we forget anniversaries & birthdays and work in compulsion & compromises, achieve the apple but could not taste it in leisure. So where do we find the Elixir of Happiness??

Elixir of Happiness

Years ago (27 years), like others, I had a dream to make my career shine and bring home all the comforts. I was already trying hard, but I wanted something big… a big surprise, I mean a grand success for my parents & family. My mother was full of life and used to be delighted by my success. I remember when I asked her to be a pillion rider on my bike. How scared she was, since I was a novice rider. But she agreed and I took her to our Durga Puja (Community worshipping of Goddess Durga), driving slowly.

I could see the happiness in her eyes and that was a treat for me. So, the time flew and before I could do something very good to please her, I lost her. I consider it to be my biggest setback. We mourned her demise for long and used to remember each small moments, when we had laughter together, her beaming face… even her angry face which would melt in minutes with love and forgive any insolence whatsoever. Even my childhood friend would call her “Maa” as I had always called her. You won’t believe, for years, my friends did not had a cup of tea in my house, as it won’t give that taste as if my mother would have served it while rebuking us to be ‘good for nothing’ bunch of Rascals.

Time gradually educated me that if you have a desire, or you want to cherish… the time is Now because you can repair or mend anything that you own, but one can never repair the time that has whisked out of hands.

It is a hard fact, that if you keep waiting for your great moment to come, it never does. And if at all you struggle to bring it someday, take it from me, you would be too matured to enjoy it. As such, it is an inverse theory – “When you have desires, you might not have the resources to fulfill it, and till you arrange the resources, the desires die out”… so harsh isn’t it? Then which way leads to Cheers & satisfaction, where does this Happiness reside?

Happiness is a happening and not a target to achieve, I realized. We need not run after it, but juice it out of any moment of our life. Remember the ‘piggy bank’ in which we used to save coins every day? Recall what delight it used to be when, one day, on some occasion, when we used to break open that piggy bank. That… ecstasy… joy… is called Happiness.

Likewise, if instead of waiting for the big moment to come, we treasure all the innumerable small moments of Joy, which I am sure, we come across each day, and live to the fullest on each opportunity to be happy with people we love… collectively it will score more than the mirage of a big Happy moment, which may or may not ever come.

Steal away the moments to feel contended. I remember, my little niece, at the age of 3 or maybe 4, when she merely learned to walk, trying to go near a white pigeon, who used to come and sit on our terrace everyday along-with other Grey (normal) colored pigeons.

Being in majority, the Grey pigeons would try to shoo away the lone white pigeon and in-spite it would struggle to stay. To support my niece’s endeavors, we would softly drive the other pigeons away for some moments so that the white one would have its share of cereal/ seeds which we used to disperse on the terrace. I remember both – the beaming face of my niece chuckling from her toothless mouth and the proud expressions of the white pigeon towards the other accompanying pigeons, on getting this special treatment…

I still relish that moment of happiness. We would celebrate all the festivals, irrespective of religion or race in the way they are enjoyed. I purposely, pulled out, moments of free time out of my schedule, to be with my family. Today, because of their nature of the job, my brother stays away from us, as he is posted in Hyderabad, my daughter stays in Bangalore and my son might have to go abroad shortly. Had I kept on preparing for grand moments, you may guess the number of my efforts required to gather them, if I desire to celebrate with my whole family on someday. But, since we have never kept even small opportunities to rejoice the Happiness pending, we have a treasure of sweets moments spent every now and then.

Happiness is an extractive emotion, which is invaluable, but could be experienced at any cost. It is present in an infant’s giggle and in a mother’s blessings. It may be found in the company of one’s brother, sister, friends or anybody. It is present in the themes of festivals, our success and in someone else’s success too. It could have rejoiced in the thanking wet eyes of a poor person and even grateful gesture of an animal. The summary is that we can enjoy the bliss of happiness anywhere and everywhere, the formula being “Happiness begets Happiness”. Spread happiness and receive the same multiplied.

There is no other option other than Being Happy

The fact cannot be denied, that life has become a synonym of struggle – ‘Stress’, ‘Depression’ & ‘Melancholy’ are the ooze-out products. People with Gloomy & sullen faces and deepened lines running across their forehead have their own stories to tell.

It seems that ‘problems’ are blessed with a boon to regenerate & multiply causing new tensions & distresses every new day. We try to fight like a warrior surrounded with innumerable enemies with counts increasing. Insurgence does not decrease… the warrior gets tired and hopeless. This is what happens to us and thus, we get dragged into the quicksand of depression by & by… inch by inch… bit by bit, gradually, but surely.

This hopelessness seen within us, has encouraged me to write this small piece of prose. Let me tell you how this theorem gets its inference. Let me tell you about Ravi Kant Bhai Saheb (Bhai Saheb is addressing Elder Brother, by respect).

Ravi Kant ji was known to me through one of my friend. He was my friend’s elder 2nd cousin, but within a short time, we became very close due to our common interests – Spirituality & Poetry. I admired his knowledge in Astrology, Palmistry & Spirituality. We used to discuss for hours and I gained a lot from him. I wondered on his patience and smiling face, even in that phase of time, when I knew, financially broke, he was struggling along with his family without a single help, still, he would smile and comment – “this phase will be over soon and everything will be alright, trust the Almighty”.

I would ask him that why, in-spite of being such a good Astrologer, he would still wait for the time to come and he would give his sweet smile and nod slowly, as if telling me that I will understand one day. It was a moment of emotions when he narrated what became the baseline of a theory that I follow even today. Ravikant Bhai Saheb’s sister was estranged from her husband and was fighting a divorce case for the last 2 years. Bhai Saheb was deeply involved in this issue and desired to save his sister’s marriage.

Not getting any solution thereof, he, in desperation, visited several Temples and Dargahs and prayed. He consulted Astrologers, Godmen & even Tantriks to resolve the situation, but nothing changed. In words of Ravikant ji, some very learned Astrologers assured that my sister’s problem will be solved but it is going to take time. Worships (Pooja) were done, various rituals (Upaaya) were performed. Being Astrologer himself, Ravikant ji told that working out on the horoscope of his sister, he observed that the present phase of her life was full of turmoil. In-spite of all efforts that he could do including Priests & pundit’s offerings and rituals done by Tantriks and whatnot, nothing could restore the rift in the relationship.

By and by his courage broke and he gave up to surrender into the almighty’s lotus feet saying “O Lord, you are all-powerful, I bow unto your feet, please bless us and let, whatever is destined, may happen”. Ravi Bhai Saheb concluded, “I discontinued all my efforts and you won’t believe, within 4 months, the case was discharged favoring us”.

He continued, “This episode was a turning point in my life. I learned that major happenings of life, takes place as destined and even the Almighty will not criss-cross this trajectory. He himself will not do it before its time. Despite all my desperate efforts, I observed that resolution on this struggle happened, around the same time, the turmoil phase of my sister was destined to end, as suggested in her Astro-interpretation and all godmen who claimed to solve the problem were in-effective whatsoever.” This ushered my thought process towards the enlightenment of contentment. The graph of our life has several ups & downs, if we feel relish the ups then we should be tolerant towards the downs too.

Ravikant Bhai Sahab’s serene attitude towards life and its happenings was now explained before me. We may distort our faces and give thousands of expressions of melancholy, keep worrying about an issue and get depressed, but happenings are as per the planning and surely we are not the planners. No amount of worry is going to turn the table in one’s favor, had it been so, people sit and keep worrying.

I would say, when our anxiety, fear, concern or depression is not going to solve the issue, then why do it? Why don’t we try to remain calm & patient and let the phase pass away?

Undoubtedly, it won’t be easy and hence our quest for moments of Happiness. I think there is no choice other than being Happy as no other state of mind is going to give us any result. But Happiness may bring back the diminishing life in us. It may give new hope and energy, not to give-up and venture with a new zeal. Happiness is contagious, because it spreads, and take it from me, there is no greater virtue than to spread happiness… make others happy.

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